There is only one way I know to completely quiet myself down before the holiday season and that is through gratitude. It’s the only thing that has ever really worked for me. And believe me, I’ve tried a lot of things!
I guess it is because there is nothing in the act of feeling grateful that can turn into its own opposite. It’s a pure emotion, you know?
Lately I’ve noticed that I want one thing more than anything else on earth: peace at heart. Even good health—which is a big one, no doubt—is not as big as peace at heart. Because even good health gives way to various “stuff” as we age. With peace in my heart, I accept it all.
Here in Portland, Oregon, Halloween came and went with our neighborhood kidlets not having to wear long underwear under their costumes. The big storm rolled in the next day. I was happy for the kids. There was time to get in all the fall bulbs and play some guitar with arthritis in my hands. I was grateful for that. We had enough to share. What could be better?
But most of all I feel gratitude for sharing life with Patrick, the silliest, gentlest soul I know, and Fly, the Grace Kelly of Border Collies. Oh, I’m not saying it’s easy. Nowhere in the books did anybody promise easy. (You wouldn’t believe me if I tried to fake that now would you?) That’s why I’m grateful for you too…Friends.
So, as we launch ourselves into the silly season with many of us doing far more than we ought to be doing if we are to stay sane, I wish you luck.
And in the meantime, I dedicate this Thanksgiving post to my Paddy who has given me such a wonderful life and whose gentle strength is a touchstone.
I wrote a poem for Patrick and asked him if I could share it. It’s called Old Ladies.
Old Ladies
My husband helps old ladies across the street.
He blocks streams of symphony-goers with a stocky strong body
So old ladies can unfold out of chairs,
And gather their wits and walkers.
He says nice things about their awful hats.
One time in a restaurant he paid an elderly and solitary woman’s bill
Then left a note: an admirer.
This is not pity, far from it. You see, my husband sees old ladies.
You never know what almost dying will make of a man.
S. Troccolo
Happy Thanksgiving everyone. If you manage to stay peaceful between now and the end of the year, please write and tell me how you did it. Just a hunch, but I think a few more of us might like to know.
you share a quirky sense of humour, with the bear pair.
Diana, you are right about that. We are both a little quirky. You have to admit, there IS some resemblance to the “larger family” of critters! When I saw Patrick just standing there, I had to capture it. Diana, will you please subscribe me to your blog? I tried and somehow didn’t succeed. I want to follow a gardener who is tending to our world in South Africa, which is where I believe you are?
I don’t believe I CAN subscribe you to my blog. Do you use a reader (Feedly?) or do you prefer email? If it’s email, you will get a prompt to verify that you really DO want to subscribe. Can you try again? And nag me if there is a problem?
I enjoyed this post, photos and poem… Love the smile on Patrick’s face…. I will wish you peace… I am searching for that myself…. Michelle
Thank you Michelle. I can tell by the subjects we write about that we both long for many of the same things.
Sweet poem. And he sounds like a very sweet man. I agree with you about peace in our hearts. And this is the season when we should have more – but somehow always seem to have less!
I agree Holley–why the heck should that be? Busyness, expectations? Anyway, I’m planning on a quiet season and hope it will work out that way. Hope all goes according to your heart’s desire too.
Hi Susie, the bears..and Paddy are divine. I agree, gratitude is a true emotion. I stop and look and enjoy and am grateful regularly. To feel peaceful, (an emotion that takes a bit of practice me thinks) I listen to that beautiful CD from Paddy, or listen to my gorgeous husband singing something beautiful and gently while sitting on the deck in our little holiday place by the beach on North Stradbroke Island watching the ocean…especially at sunset. Sometimes there are whales, all year round we have dolphins and surfers and sometimes we just have the elements. How fortunate my life, especially when we meet special people. Much love Jennifer
Jenny, Paddy will love your note! Jeez you are describing a little bit of heaven. (I have to get out the atlas and see where North Stradbroke Island is…) Can we come and visit? Hmmm? (We’ll honor the three days and fish thing according to Mark Twain!) Wish it wasn’t such a very long way to you, but I liked our plan of meeting halfway. I owe you a letter after your South America trip–it will be forthcoming. Thank you so much for writing in Jenny. We are so lucky to have met you and Tim.
Susie, this latest writing Old Ladies is just lovely and has that wonderful “turn” at the end that Billy Collins does. Recently he said that he sort of lures the reader into his poem at the start by suggesting the ordinary, sort of “Don’t worry, I won’t scare you with profundity”, and then gets to the heart of the matter at the end with his ultimate intention. This one about Paddy is like that…..Gratitude is perhaps the only not-selfish feeling we can have, I think. Take care.
Peggy, I was really moved by your comment. That would never have occurred to me, yet–you are right–one writing teacher in particular taught me that technique and said that very thing: “We don’t *say* Heaven, even as we dwell there.” The art is the dawning in the reader’s mind. Thank you so much. I think you are right in the way you have expressed the only non-selfish emotion.
This is so beautiful. I keep the holidays very simple and have excised many of the “supposed to” traditions such as sending cards, etc. I’ve even stopped giving my neighbors baked goods when I realized it had become a burden to them because they felt the need to reciprocate. Your hubby sounds like a great guy. :o)
Another reason I love these comments–you’ve just given me a new perspective on the baking thing. You “saw” the situation and acted in an even more loving way than giving a gift. Thank you for that–
What a beautiful post Susan, I hope you manage to stay calm in the lead up to the holidays. I am very fortunate, we don’t make a big to do about Christmas, and although we will see lots of family, it is all about the company so I don’t have to fuss or worry at all, just enjoy it.
Sounds like a plan to me Janet! Btw, I love your writing and have highlighted a couple of English expressions I have learned from you…(referring back to the source of course-:)
‘He says nice things about their awful hats’. I’m laughing my naughty horns-protruding-out-me-cranium laugh because I know just the type of hat; Cottage cheese tubs, or Schlitz Malt Liquor cans segmented out, then crocheted together. Oh…the glamour. I love you and Paddy, and Fly bigger than the sky! Guilt beams plague me about working on the holiday.
Uh, so what’s wrong with cottage cheese tubs?
Great man that Paddy!! Loved finding out more about both of you today:~))
I’ll tell him an Irish lass said so Catherine–he’ll be so pleased. (I have already sent your link to Foxglovelane and some of your photos.) Paddy is actually Patrick and before that Pasquale, but as you see we have changed over the years. (The nephews had trouble saying “Uncle Patrick” when they were little, but Uncle Paddy was a piece of cake…) So Catherine, was it really an Italian priest that came to Ireland from the Holy Roman Empire and then stayed on? On another subject, I’ll be posting to V&V on November 21st.
Susie what a lovely post to remind us to bring more thanks into our lives….I think we make it through the holidays here by keeping it simple. I love the poem and that great photo….what a special man!
He is a pretty special rascal, oops…I mean guy. Yes, keeping it simple. My new mantra. Thanks Donna for coming by, I always value your visits to the site.
Hello Susan, I nipped over from Gardens Eye View as I saw in your comment that we share similar gardening challenges. What a delight your blog is, thoughtful and warm and joyful. I will be following.
Hi Susan, we are practically neighbors! Yes, I love the NW, but just this year some of the gardening challenges hit me. Otherwise, our growing season is nice and long. I loved your comment and appreciate it very much. When people “find” you….well, there is nothing quite like it in the blogging business. I also stopped by to pay you a visit today–seems we even have heroes in common.
I love the pictures of Patrick. What an adorable man! And Fly – makes me smile! I miss my Border Collie still after 15 years. You were right, I do love that poem – and everything you write. Gratitude is quite the emotion. My expression of it at this holiday season will be in the form of gratitude journals. I have a journal for each of my children, grandchildren and husband in which I’ll write all the things about them that I’m grateful for. The journals will be gifts to them this holiday. Have a peaceful, joyous holiday season, Susie!
Hi Marcia–it was so great to hear from you! I’m glad you related to the poem, I just knew you would. Your gratitude journals will be a priceless gift to your family; what a really full-hearted and generous thing to do. I can’t imagine anything more wonderful at this time. I’d love to read a post on your blog about the experience…if it can even be put into words. Blessings to you too Marcia–may all the love of the season land at your door. (Fly says “hi!”)
What a lovely thoughtful post. I enjoyed reading it. I love your poem.
Chloris
Hi Chloris, Thank you for visiting my site. I’m really happy when UK gardeners stop by because it allows me to learn about your site and hopefully read a thing or two that can help me here in the Pacific Northwest. We have similar weather and growing seasons–long and damp. But generally pretty mild too. I was just researching Hellebores and found they are natives here and–I believe–in your zone too. I recently planted a dozen of the so-called “Christmas Rose.” Anyway, Welcome Chloris! Hope to see you again. Susan
Not too long ago I realized that nothing makes me happier than being thankful, Susie, so I do believe you’ve nailed it. And to be so grateful for your husband says more than just about anything, don’t you think? That’s the kind of day-in and day-out reality that tells others what one is really like.
I especially like getting to know you better through these posts. Thank you!
I’m so happy you visited here Ginnie, thank you. It is what I’ve hoped–to establish a community here too. There is an essay written by Brian Doyle (Link here: http://oregonhumanities.org/magazine/away-features/irreconcilable-dissonance/293/), one of my very favorite essayists where he says just what you have said: that the day-in, day-out reality of life with someone is both what makes marriage hard and what makes it a blessing. This essay explores some of the hard things too. But I have long felt that a marriage can be as much of a spiritual journey as other ways…it is another way to deepen life and life’s commitments. I know you know this and I’m glad we can talk about it.
What a sweet tribute to your guy. He does sound like a keeper. Regarding finding peace during the holidays, it’s always a work in progress for me. Each stage of life brings new challenges and personal issues. I guess this year was one of my most peaceful ones. But I still made too many cookies…
Hi! Thanks so much for stopping by, I really appreciate your comment. Yes, after thirty-five years….I think I’ll keep him. Your observation about stages of life is what is on my mind this morning too. I’m glad to hear your holiday was one of your more peaceful ones–it was for me too. There is a theme here I think; we are learning what we need and what we want. On another subject, I’m going to write you in the next week about working with me on a “Writers in the Garden” giveaway. I want to see if we might partner on something. I have purchased a seed mat and other “goodies”, now we need a simple writer’s contest and theme. You seem like just the person if you have the interest.